Beta Quadra Duality (ESTP & INFJ)
Translated Socionics Article. I’ve used the closest matching MBTI terms to prevent confusion.
ESTP (ESTp, SLE, Se-Ti): This is a strong personality that is prone to either overestimate or underestimate his abilities and volitional qualities. In the first case, we have a “superman” resembling the heroes of action movies. In the second case — a rebellious person, constantly and unsuccessfully searching for himself and application of his abilities. If such a search becomes protracted, ESTP becomes the first victim of such unfortunate situation. Then he may resort to substance abuse, engage in risky enterprises, or, at the best, start conflicts with colleagues and relatives, imposing his wishes and values in life.
In this regard, he needs a partner who could help him find a worthy purpose where he could apply himself, and who would evoke strong interest in him with the ultimate goal. ESTP is inspired only by goals that require resourcefulness and courage.
ESTP can and must direct his energy into his career, as well as activities of organizational, economic, and housekeeping nature: improving family welfare, taking care of official matters, resolving the pragmatic aspects of affairs, maintenance and repair, and resolution of other practical problems. A man of this type can ensure realization of the most difficult and dangerous work. He needs a partner who will ensure that his actions and methods are humane and considerate enough when he is attempting to reach his goals.
Despite these natural inclinations, many members of this type are not even aware of their enormous potential and often suffer from lack of confidence, or hold some irrational notions. They need a partner who demonstrates inexhaustible optimism and faith in the success of any endeavor. The main thing is to rid these people of their anxieties, suspicions and doubts — the rest they will overcome themselves.
Most of all ESTP hates treachery and is inclined to find it even in instances where there was none. He may have a highly developed code of behavior, which sometimes takes an extravagant form. Then he condemns in others that which he has justified in himself. This quality complicates his relations with others, so that his partner must be constantly engaged in restoration of good relations, rather than await for ESTP to mend them himself. Thus, his dual plays the role of a diplomat of a king. INFJ can mitigate the suspicion and distrust of his dual, persuading him out of unfounded fears.
INFJ (INFp, IEI, Ni-Fe): Soft, pliant, emotional, romantic and unpredictable partner. With him it is never boring because often one has to puzzle over his bizarre statements and actions. For his dual, who cannot endure monotony, this is extremely interesting, to have to continuously overcome these small and large challenges posed by his partner.
INFJ can often give advice on who is an adversary and where one needs to send a strike. Often has a harmonizing effect on a group of people, but can also set groups and individuals against one another. INFJ has a good sense of danger — he is insightful enough to gather the necessary information and develop a general strategy of psychological behavior to achieve success. With ESTP, he can be part of a great union that combines strength and vision, strategy and tactics. It is only necessary, however, to properly evaluate the abilities of one another.
Weaknesses of INFJ, such as excessive laxness, impracticality, passivity and conformism in relations, can be easily forgiven. He’s a diplomat, not a fighter. For this reason, he rarely impresses his dual in the beginning, especially on the background of other vivid and strong personalities, the passion for whom in ESTP is eventually replaced by disappointment and irritation.
Besides weak practical acumen and low efficiency, INFJ has another weakness: he tends to get greatly upset over nothing, feels discouraged and starts complaining. He can also be a spendthrift and mismanage his income.
But when his partner assumes the worst and falls in his spirits, INFJ is always able to cheer him up, divert his attention, assure him that everything will be fine. At his heart, INFJ is an idealist and an optimist and believes in a positive outcome. He knows how to patiently wait for what he believes in.
Terms of dualization:
1. Duals are two extremes that only together can find the “golden center” on which rest truth and harmony. That is why INFJ should not be surprised by ability of resolute ESTP to walk towards his goal over the heads of others, putting business above relations. He should help, however possible, to mitigate these tendencies of his partner, explaining possible negative consequences to him. When volitional pressuring turns directly against INFJ, don’t feel offended — it is best to turn everything into a joke, or expertly manage emotions of your partner and switch his attention to more important issues than fight with loved ones.
2. Interference in each other’s spheres of activity not only leads to conflicts, but also reduces the overall efficiency of this dyad. ESTP must constantly be on the lookout that his custody and initiative do not take an offensive to INFJ form, and INFJ should tactfully ignore the excessive pressuring of his partner, demonstrate willingness to compromise and appeal for reciprocity.
3. It is necessary to provide freedom for diplomatic activities of INFJ that are associated with emotional agency, as well as conception of a common strategy, and efforts aimed at intellectual development of the dyad. ESTP has to take on the role of providing for the family, protecting and supporting it, overseeing business matters.
4. Prudence and foresight in dealing with different people, as well as planning for the holidays, evenings, holiday travel and entertainment are the strengths of INFJ. Here, ESTP needs to take care of the practical part of the program: obtaining the tickets, preparing the barbecue, driving, etc.
5. As for the emotional-sexual side of relations, ESTP is very impressed by the whimsical, sentimental and diverse in their expression feelings of his partner who also possesses a developed sense of humor and tact, and intrigued by his mystery and unpredictable reactions.
INFJ expects a strong, temperamental, self-confident, proactive in sex partner. Here he is a follower, since he is confident only in romantic side of feelings and relationships. INFJ needs a partner who can help him overcome his hesitation and awaken his sensuality. His partner’s desire should not leave any room for doubt for INFJ, for whom such doubts are often torturous.
In this dyad, relations are in many ways similar to the previous dyad. Both couples are prone to engage in a kind of “play-fighting”. Overbearing nature of ESTP evokes emotional resonance in INFJ, who, cleverly playing with his feelings, can endure a lot from such strong and authoritarian personality. ESTP enjoys feeling like a victor, and INFJ, enjoys taming his occasionally overly aggressive partner with diplomacy and kindness.
Often, INFJ has a harmonizing form of personality, but there are individuals of predominantly creative type of psyche — musicians, artists, poets, etc. — who are not recommended to pair with a dual of dominant type of personality. They are better matched with a partner of normalizing psychoform — a more calm and balanced person — otherwise their “play-fighting” can lead to mutual destruction or endless drama.
This dyad poorly tolerates monotony, lack of exiting experiences. Their senses and emotions are renewed and strengthened by endurance and suffering. If the aggressive by nature ESTP never wanted to quarrel, then his partner, with his whims and alternations of his moods, will himself provoke a new outbreak of negative emotions, which then adeptly turn into positive ones.
It should be noted that jealousy is often a problem in this pair, especially for the mistrustful ESTP. The habit of INFJ to be friendly and interested in everyone, to generously give out compliments, and the variability of his moods, all contribute to this development. Do not taunt for too long: for ESTP there is nothing worse than betrayal.
It may seem that this dyad is distinguished by sadomasochistic tendencies. In actuality, the soft, soulful and sentimental INFJ has a relaxing effect on ESTP and, to a certain extent, suppresses his aggressive tendencies. In the case of a quarrel, the emotional reaction of INFJ can be so original and unpredictable, that it forces his dual, who poorly orients in feelings, to soften and seek compromise. The image of a “victim” has a stronger effect on ESTP than an equal and invincible enemy, who does not evoke compassion.
Due to his flexibility, pliancy and fine diplomacy, INFJ is often able to win over the heart of such a complex personality as ESTP, with his ambitiousness and subconscious aggression, who usually considers emotions to be a sign of weakness and does not wish to fall into emotional dependency with anyone else.
