Delta Quadra Duality (ESTJ & INFP)
This was originally a Russian Socionics article, but for ease of understanding have used the most closely corresponding MBTI types in the following translation.
ESTJ (ESTj, LSE, Te-Si): ESTJ is a very industrious type of personality. He has great business acumen, he is practical and economical, knows how to handle resources. He is a great manager of the house and conscientious worker. Likes accurate and reliable information and is backed by figures and evidence. He appreciates high quality in everything, beautiful things, nourishing and tasty food. Himself rests rarely and abhors lazy people.
These qualities make him a very demanding and uncompromising person. He needs a partner who would correspond to his notions of duty, trustworthiness, loyalty. This should be a diligent, responsive, honest and fair person, who is interested in improving his own skills and qualifications.
ESTJ finds appeal in a person who does everything in time, who is judicious and exercises forethought, which prevents many mistakes from happening in professional and personal life, who has high ethical standards and is perceptive of that which is not readily observed.
Straightforwardness of ESTJ and his inability to make concessions strain communication with him. If we add to this heightened vulnerability and personal reserve, which suddenly gives way to outbursts of anger, distrust of people, inability to truly relax, it is not difficult to guess that such a person needs a patient, discreet, and sufficiently diplomatic partner.
INFP (INFj, EII, Fi-Ne): INFP is characterized by high emotional sensitivity and acute perception of the slightest nuances in the relationship. Always alert, tactful and discreet, he knows how to soothe and relieve emotional tension of his partner. INFP acts as a healer, in time to identifying and eliminating all the factors that can disrupt the peace of mind of his partner — by this he helps ESTJ to live among people.
INFP never imposes his feelings and his company on anyone, but he is kind to those who need it. His emotional sensitivity and sincerity are admired by those who know him well. He can give the impression of being too compliant, but this is not true. If he does not accept and forgive something, it is useless to argue with him — he may not say anything, but will keep to his opinion. He does not like to loudly sort out relations, but with his look, tone, and silence can evoke feelings of remorse from his impulsive and undiplomatic dual.
Possessing an outstanding talent of a teacher and educator, INFP is able to develop kinder qualities in people, instill faith in their abilities, and he himself possesses significant creative potential and foresight. He is picky about the ethical qualities of others, but even more so — of his own. He is patient, diligent, and careful in attention to detail. Among unfamiliar people, he seems skittish and unsure. He does his work undemonstratively, as if he takes it for granted.
His flaws are a measure of conservatism, fear of change and of risky ventures, lack of magnitude and initiative in business undertakings, proclivity to doubt and indecision. ESTJ is able to build his confidence in himself and in what he is doing, take on responsibility and initiative, and provide effective support in pragmatic matters.
INFP, due to his sense of commitment and inability to separate the primary from the secondary, gets stuck in the details of work and overloads himself with too many tasks and requests of other people. It is difficult for him to deny a person’s request. He also finds it difficult to assign tasks to someone else and make them do it properly. Excessive diligence can bring him to the point of exhaustion. In the absence of his sharp and straightforward dual, some people may exploit the weaknesses and kindness of INFP. ESTJ protects the interests of his dual and drives away those who were using INFP to their advantage.
Terms of dualization:
1. ESTJ should be more responsive to the advice of his dual, and then INFP will be able to soften his heart and make him more harmonious, personable, and romantic. Without his dual, ESTJ seems too dry and strict person. Only selfless kindness can pave the way to the heart of ESTJ and help the tenderness and sensitivity manifest in this strong, proud, but inwardly vulnerable person.
2. INFP should not reject the help of his dual. For realization of what has been planned, ESTJ will spare no effort and will overcome many obstacles. He only needs his partner to care for his moods, his relations with others and to predict possible developments. INFP intuitively feels potential obstacles and dangers, which can lead the ESTJ, who doesn’t notice them, to become a subject of manipulation or get drawn into violent conflicts.
3. ESTJ will give advice on which things are worth doing, and which can be deferred, give all the necessary directions, explain the regulations, provide the necessary know-how. He speaks directly and accurately, cutting off all possible doubts and hesitations, which boosts the confidence of his dual. He should protect the interests of his dual and see to his well-being. In turn, INFP helps his dual in resolving ethical issues and in achieving high quality in work. He makes for a good adviser in affairs, coming up with unusual ways of solving problems.
4. The emotional life of this couple is very distinct. ESTJ does not like to talk about his feelings or give compliments and praises. For INFP this is not necessary. He values not words and praise, but prefers that love is shown in deeds. This ESTJ accomplishes very well. He is very caring, energetic and active, looks after the material needs of his partner and in time supplies him with everything that he needs for a comfortable existence.
ESTJ also does not care for verbal expression of feelings — he does not trust them. He is disarmed only by sensitivity, gentleness, faithfulness and ability of partner to compromise. As for the feelings and desires, INFP, implicitly reads them — he can see them in the eyes of his dual, and tries to meet them. He shows his attitude indirectly, but this only inspires his enterprising partner. This dyad belongs to the 4th quadra, which has much in common with the 1st, but unlike the pioneers of the 1st quadra, these types have accumulated in the course of evolution the experience of previous quadra. This experience helps them to select the best and to strive to achieve the peak of mastery in all areas of life, but it also makes them vulnerable, sensitive to the slightest disharmony and not resistant to stress.
Here, there is no talk of any “playful fighting”. No one will understand this. Relations develop along the lines of “guardian/instructor–child/student”. The role of the guardian is played by whoever is the stronger partner. The caprices of the “child” are not encouraged and catered to, as well as aggression from the “guardian”, which both try not to provoke. The foundation of these relations is care for one another, and continuous harmony of thoughts, actions and feelings. Their love gets stronger and becomes brighter only when it does not cause any doubts in anyone. They appreciate the reliability and mutual aid. Together they should feel so comfortable that their trust and affection for each other would soften life’s adversities.
If someone needs storms and shake-ups, it is not the representatives of the 4th quadra. They need a quiet haven in a sea of life, and if they don’t find it in their family, they feel unhappy, and despite their understanding of family values and their need for stability may, in extreme cases, even break up their relations.
As for the intimate side of life, the ESTJ is not a gentle, romantic and affectionate partner. He has a sex drive and appreciates the erotic side of the relationship, but he has little fantasy and is unlikely to be a very creative in intimate relations. While INFP may have more ideas, most of all he wishes to always feel wanted and desired. He will try to evoke the caresses of his partner, which for him would be most convincing.
Spiritual aspects of relations this couple appreciates more than sexual techniques. If they try to improve their sex life, it is only to evoke erotic emotions. Attention to each other and mutual commitment nourish their love more than any words or novelty of the sensation. Therefore, the older their love becomes — the stronger it grows. Sincerity and guilelessness towards one another serve as confirmation of this.
