Your ISTJ Care and Handling User Guide and Manual
This manual is part of a series of guides originated by @intpboard
Congratulations!
You have just selected your very own ISTJ Worker Unit. As our most popularly selected introverted unit you are sure to be satisfied with your very own ISTJ. If for any reason you are not satisfied, you are simply not being direct and clear enough with your ISTJ unit and that is your own damn fault. So that you may enjoy your unit to it’s fullest extent, your SJ overlords have included this handy guide.
Your ISTJ will come with the following accessories:
- Six (6) plaid or solid-colored shirts
- Four (4) pairs of jeans (light blue, dark blue, black, and brown)
- One (1) belt that has been worn since high school and will be worn for however long it shall live. Because it works.
- Two (2) pairs of shoes — one for daily wear, one for dress
- Bonus sports shoes included with athletic upgrade
- One (1) set of tools and toolbox. Includes basic tools for routine maintenance and repairs to anything they purchased for more than $1000
- One (1) canine companion
- One (1) set of How-To Books
- One (1) duty-powered core reactor [Warning: Slightly Radioactive]
Software
Your ISTJ comes pre-programmed with the following traits;
Introverted Sensing (Si): Your ISTJ is acutely aware of personal impact and past precedent. This trait includes the ability to recall events and exchanges of personal significance with immense detail and clarity. This function allows your ISTJ to form memories with such detail that they are experienced as reliving the event. Because of this your ISTJ unit is uniquely sensitive to changes in it’s environment and people around it. Your ISTJ is also strongly aware of it’s own physical sensations and comfort as well as the physical comfort of those it is near.
Extraverted Logic (Te): Your ISTJ will act efficiently and effectively when interacting with it’s external environment. Your ISTJ is a skilled organizer, delegator and trouble shooter. This function targets waste and inefficiencies and eliminates them to ensure the system is running at it’s highest functional level.
Introverted Ethics (Fi): Your ISTJ may be taciturn, but it is equipped with deeply held values. Your ISTJ will have personal preferences and tastes that it is both very sure of and strongly attached to. This function is responsible for adding the unique variety to each ISTJ unit that is only accessible with regular use and interaction.
Extraverted Intuition (Ne): Your ISTJ is prone to catastrophizing about the future due to the inferior placement of it’s Ne function. Your ISTJ will be resistant to change and new ideas and is likely to dislike discussing hypothetical situations because of the stress they can induce. In cases where your ISTJ unit’s Ne overpowers the dominant Si software, your unit may feel a need to destroy all current systems and structure and resort instead to individuality and anarchism.
Getting Started
- Insert duty-powered core reactor into your ISTJ unit’s duty port (located between shoulder blades on back of unit)
- Place ISTJ unit in an isolated area with included set of How-To Books
- Allow at least 2 hours of solitude for ISTJ to absorb information and charge
- Present ISTJ unit with included toolbox and a practical puzzle or problem in need of solution
- If your ISTJ unit does not activate after step 4, leave unit to charge overnight and try step 4 again
- If step 5 also fails, repeat step 4 again, but with included canine companion as well
Modes
Fix-It Mode (default) — When presented with a problem and reasonably assigned responsibility for solving said problem, your ISTJ will successfully fix or solve the problem assigned.
Chill Mode (default) — Active when ISTJ is alone or with a maximum of 2 pre-approved closely bonded companion units. Required for a minimum of 2 hours a day for optimum performance. While in this mode your ISTJ will have significantly subdued energy levels, little to no articulation, and will instead enjoy the company of included canine companion and silence.
Get Shit Done Mode — Activated when assigned responsibility for completion of a set of tasks necessary to ensure continued harmony and operation of ISTJ’s life, work, and/or family. Involves only the minimum articulation necessary and zero (0) patience for unproductivity or waste.
What Needs to be Done Mode — Activated when ISTJ determines that a particular task must be completed in order to ensure continued harmony or operation of a system or situation, but that said task is not being completed by the responsible parties, or is being completed poorly. Includes silent resentment towards the responsible parties, but successful completion of the task nonetheless. Repeated activation of What Needs to be Done Mode will result in your ISTJ unit’s refusal to help or participate in any future events or activities involving the responsible party.
Righteous Indignation Mode — Activated by applying inaccurate statements or labels to ISTJ or by accusing ISTJ of making an error without providing evidence. May result in emotional outbursts.
Try Something New Mode (locked) — Only unlockable with sufficient advanced notice and preparation. Your ISTJ unit is very capable of trying new things, but must be given adequate time to prepare by gaining more information first.
Relationships with Other Units
NF: Generally fascinating and adored by your ISTJ unit, these units can also become annoying if they decide your ISTJ is in need of improvement.
NT: Usually well tolerated and respected, but at times can seem overbearing or arrogant to your ISTJ unit.
SJ: Well tolerated and most easily understood. Reliable units that can be called on for help if needed.
SP: Interesting, but still quite confusing. These units seem to understand your ISTJ unit better than it understands them.
Feeding
Your ISTJ unit will feed itself regularly and if asked kindly, will likely also feed other units if your ISTJ possesses greater cooking ability.
Grooming
As long as your ISTJ unit is not stuck in a Si-Fi loop, it will regularly groom itself without any prompting. Looping units may occasionally need to be locked in a bathroom and told to clean themselves.
Sleeping
Your ISTJ unit will sleep when appropriate and necessary. Looping units may engage in too much sleep, but can usually be fixed by being presented with a puzzle in need of solving.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is my ISTJ thinking?
Most of the time, your ISTJ is thinking about whatever was just happening, however sometimes (unbeknownst to ISTJ), they will be thinking about a past event so deeply that it feels as though it is the present.
How do I get ISTJ to talk to me?
The easiest way to get your ISTJ to talk to you is to act it direct questions and wait for a response. Otherwise, your ISTJ will also respond to riddles.
Is my ISTJ stuck on repeat?
No, your ISTJ has simply mastered it’s environment and found a routine that is perfectly suited. Your ISTJ will now adhere to this routine, often until long after it has ceased to be the most effective and efficient use of it’s time and environment.
How do I get my ISTJ to try a new method of doing something?
By proving that the new method works better than the current method.
Again, Congratulations of your new ISTJ unit! Now go forth and fulfill your role!
